Wasted Talent

someone asked me why there hasn't been a post since the last big judeo-chrisitan, holes in  the hands blow-out special.

easy answer: i'm lazy and was doing more people watching than actual writing...sad but true.

with that expreessed and imprinted on the small amount of naked flesh left on the web, i can now venture forward into the next slab of textual retardation that will now follow:

THE COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE OF RICHMOND VIRGINIA IS FAILING.

when you work at a HUB of travel, where the people flow through your city like an unwanted heavy period, you tend to keep several notebooks and scratch pads of observations that detail the ridiculous portraits of these walking ejaculations...moving punchlines in suits and haggard casual wear. however, in the grand scheme of things at the HUB, the employees are the embodiment of what is indeed wrong with the fucking world.

baggage chuckers (handlers implies care for the bags, so fuck that), gate workers, gift shop peddlers, pilots, flight attendants (those pretentious nom whores [men & women]), skycaps, rental car desk cunts, etc. the people who are depraved enough to work in an airport are the darkest, sickest and most unbalanced pricks on the face of the earth. all of these people are the ones put into circulation to fuck your travel package into a bloody mess and potentially give your would-be happy memories a chronic case of memory AIDS. what should've been happy thoughts are now, no doubt, images of faces you'd absolutely love to beat the immortal shit out of. airports feed off of misery, depression, just missed boarding rituals and the ever present stench of babbling children shoveling stale animal crackers into their non stop talking chatter holes, while the so called parents are dicking around on their blackberries instead of keeping their mentally challenged-walking wasted potential from getting shredded into taco cheese by the escalators.

annoying children are only half of the problem people, their "parents" are the hot zone for shitty attitudes, poor home training and lack of respect & fear of strangers. what ever happened to parents scaring the next generation into a state of perpetual paranoia by telling them that "strangers will snatch you up and fucking kill you"?!

public places, as we all know, are full of elightenment and danger. its a 50-50 shot of having a boss-as-fuck memory made OR being traumatized beyond all recognition.

so, when you come to richmond virginia, with your kids, remember this:

WE ARE NOT GETTING PAID TO WATCH YOUR WALKING TAX RETURNS.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM BODY SNATCHERS.
OUR AIRPORT IS NOT GOING TO BE THE SCENE OF A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION.
YOU ARE NOT REALLY WELCOME, WE JUST LIKE MONEY, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

These Are Jerry's Kids

today was a sickening day for me, given the fact that i read and understand the english language in the majority of its forms. i was asked a very, very serious question about a seemingly simple word in the language that i speak with every last employee i work with. i was violently, by violently i mean i was dry heaving 20 minutes later in the closet we call a bathroom at work, because my "co-worker" asked my what the word "fatally" meant. really, fatally?! where did this walking ejaculation, should be abortion, poster-child for birth control come from?!?! i, being the semi-calm asshole that i am, explained the meaning of fatally to someone who is at least 10 years older than myself. so i spelled it out, which without a dictionary present, is "to be wounded or harmed, in a way that would end life or kill." this person stared at me awestruck, dumbfounded by the answer. this wasn't surprising because the word came about in the following statement i made to this "co-worker": if you don't shut the fuck up and listen the following instructions that i am giving you, i will willingly and lovingly fatally wound you with a car.  why do i get stuck home training "grown-ups" while i have several others to do while in my workplace?! i'm sure i am not the only person to deal with this on a daily basis. i'm sure others have it worse than myself. however, i can now see the american learning curve at work and it makes me happy i don't own a firearm. i would greatfully firebomb these mentally handicapped fucktards out of the collective intelligence of the world today. it is an hourly, daily, weekly struggle to keep calm in the face of the idiots that plague the earth. i don't blame TV, i don't blame the internet, hell, i don't even blame any kind of media that is at our fingertips...i blame lazy ass parents who expect under-paid teachers to re-invigorate the minds of bastard children that weakling fuck-bunny-hoodrats spew out of their disease ridden loins on a regular basis. i wish the 50's would come back; complete with the poodle skirts, greaser ass-kickings and lack of pity for dumbass motherfucking losers that want to skate through the education system. i suggest IQ testing for all potential parents from this moment on. i long for genetic testing to rid this world of laziness, weakness and downright stupidity to further the best intentions of the world for tomorrow.