From Hiatus to Hilarious

for those of you who know me, and i mean KNOW me, it's obvious that i am outspoken-random-intelligent (mildly) and somewhat of a stand alone complex kind of person. those who KNOW me also can say, without a doubt, that i have this rather delightful ability to say/do things that make people uncomfortable and inspire shock in the "run of the mill" peope we all tend to gawk at simply because: "yeah bee-itch, i am is that hood and i will cut yo' punk ass, best BAH-lieve dat shee-it!"

so today while in my work place i got that feeling. you know, the feeling that someONE...or someTHING, is trying to burn a hole through your skull with their eyes. the type of tingle of movement from afar that is tracing the outline of your neck and drinking you in for one of two reasons:

#1. some ravenous, hungry beast is sizing you up and waiting for the moment to strike & devour its prey.
#2. someone is checking you out or trying to figure you out for their own sick, twisted reasons.

today was a #2 kind of day. for those just tuning in: NO i was not making a fecal reference, sorry you freak.

i was standing in a large open space, speaking with a co-worker about the business numbers left for the day and that feeling crept up the nape of my neck, over my spinal column and into the shampoo'd and conditioned locks of hair at bottom of my hairline. it was semi-magical, quasi-erotic & DEFINATELY creepy. so in that brief second i turned my head over my shoulder to see a delightful little number standing in a kiosk about 30 feet away, lost in thought and staring right into where the back of my head just was.

i had to grin a little because i so rarely get the chance to make people uncomfortable at work. i love to do it, however, i don't get many shots anymore.

there she was, clothed in (from what i could see, which was very little) a pastel yellow sweater. she stood staring into space, as i said, where my the back of my head was and she was fiddling with the pearl necklace she was wearing.

FREEZE! not THAT kind of pearl necklace. let's keep out minds out of the gutter shall we. agreed? good.

i can only assume she was trying to figure out if i was indeed the attractive woman she thought i was, or maybe she was deciphering the 7/8 inch matching black spots located in my earlobes. in either case, i turned over my shoulder, noticed her staring and decided "why not?! time to make things less comfy." so i pulled my left hand up, stared directly at her face, smiled and gave her the most SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS WAVE that i could muster.

to say she was caught off guard isn't enough of a description, that is, if you ask me, your "narrator".

she stood for a second or so moreand then realized that she was spotted. here's where things went from fun to funny. her eyes got several centimeters larger due to the sudden shock of "fuck, i'm caught", she turned three shades of red (sunburnt, tomatoe, crimson) then dropped into an office chair in the kiosk and disappeared out of eye sight.

how much fun was that, right? adult to adult, one on one, EMBARRASSED GAWKING ACTION!!!

i have to say: its the little things that make the day fun and save your sanity. simple delights i say, simple delights.

well, thats all i have for now, it's been a trying week and i'm sur tomorrow i will have more to say indeed.

until next time,

Paulo!