"Cross Contamination"

Everyone, this is Mamimi. Mamimi, everyone. Now that we're all friends, let the games begin.

in the short, nanosecond sized span of time i have spent here in the vast cosmic clusterfuck we call our world/galaxy/universe etc. i know so very little in the grand scheme of things. i'm okay with it, are you?

it would be safe to say that words are valued, for the most part, much less to most than say MONEY, SEX, POWER, STREET CRED. i find this little disaster we have made for ourselves to be udderly insane and sickening. we as a species have lost touch with what words can and will do to the path in which we head. look, i'm not preaching or trying to indoctrinate you with my own failed ideals, i'm just stating the obvious in order to set up for yet another rant about how fucking stupid the majority of humanity really is. face it: we all do what works for us, for me, it's ranting about the lack of intelligence that thrives on the microwaves of our electronic BDSM styled "devices" that we all cling to in order to let Johnny know, via facebook/twitter/myspace/AIM/skype, that today was "OMG, so effin' shitty!" we have played into the world's sick fantasy of cyber control...yet i sit here oddly enough, posting on a cyber based notbook page, instead of actually writing. like i said, MY FAILED IDEALS.

SO...

let me begin by saying that no matter what you do in life, you will eventually fail. not just fail but rather fall from the sky with your wings of wax & feathers scorching your well maintained body as you do the mythical "skydive of exploding death". your ass will meld with the inside of your empty skull, mash your insides into an organic rubik's cube and then, without incident, dry anal prison bitch date rape your life with a broken broomstick named pedro. trust and believe: it will happen.

it's not the end of the world, i swear, not yet anyway.

when you fail you are taught to get back up, dust yourself off and try again. does this always apply to your failure?! is this a cardinal rule for an "epic fail" or even a "super fail"?! can it only be applied to regular everyday fails?! no. every fail is different, just like the 2% of people in the world who don't/won't/refuse to buy into the bullshit that is fed to all of us by the news media that ravages this planet. this age old piece of "wisdom" needs to be revamped for the world of today, it needs to be sent to the editor's desk so they can laugh at it, scribble all over the page in red pen and then hand it back to you and state that "you are fired from life for being a stern believer in garbage your sickly grandmother told you when you were a child".

side note: my grandmother never spoke those words to me because she knows that life sucks, you will fail but you have to cling to the good parts. she's a bi-polar-diabetic-ex drunk who outlived her husband and 1 of her children. she has a heart of gold and a mind like an uncleaned gutter, may she laugh for all eternity, or whatever comes after this clusterfuck we have entitled "life".

so, we need to rewrite the slogan of positivity. easy, right?! fuck no! slogans are accidents from a stoned mind, ask anyone who has made their own t-shirts...(mine were "chode", "twat-waffle" and "oedipus rex & the momma's boys"). if you didn't get that joke, you are only mildly educated and need to go back to english class and read up on your little known greek tragedies. so the old slogan is out and the new one has yet to be slapped onto the bumper of a bondo-colored VW bug. fucking super, another fail. i have tried for years to replace this haggard slogan, tried and...you guessed it...FAILED. so tonight i try again: feast your eyes on...


"When you fail: get back up, dust yourself off & do something else you know you can't complete...for fun."

no good? shit, i knew it. okay, try this one on for size...

"When you fail: give the fuck up and get plastered!"

okay, ALMOST there but almost only counts for JACK SHIT...almost is a prettier word for FAIL.

"When you fail: pull a Ryu and HA-DO-KEN the shit out of whoever or whatever made you fail."

getting better, right? come on, i made a pop-culture reference and added a dash of violence! no good? fine.

"When you fail: eatt shit, die, get ressurected and pass judgement on everyone else."

oops! a bit sacreligious i assume. too bad, the freedom of speech goes hand in hand with offensive references, profanities, violence, sex, drug use and the letter "F & U" and the number "13".

i think this time i may have an answer, or at least, my favorite remastered version of the words of wisdom.

"When you fail: don't be shocked, don't give up but try something a little more your league."

see! it's vaguely positive, lacks violence/sex/profanity/offensive language/drug use.

all i'm really getting to is the idea that failing isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. without failure there is no victory. the balance of the world is inevitable.

good & evil. happy & sad. sour & sweet. failure & triumph.

personally, i don't buy into religious books and their delightful tales of poorly drawn characters who listen to the wizard of oz, or at least the man behind the curtain. it's not that i'm agnostic or an atheist. i'm a realist.

plain. simple. not buying the scriptures. not preaching the "good word". just a realist.