Surprise!

...junkies...?

i have a pair of questions that have been itching the back of my brain case for a little while now and i would like to propose them to you all and see what your feed-back is on the matter. let me set this one up for you...

i have...shall we say..."indecent" photography of a person, who has been featured here once before. now, these files have been hidden away and stored safely for whatever reason i had at the time. also keep in mind that the person in these "indecent" photographs is:

#1. a legal adult (age 18 +)

#2. willingly sent these photo's without payment of ANY kind

#3. probably not reading this

in the grand scheme of being bored out of my insanity, i decided to clean up around the computing station and re-discovered the "naughty bits" that were sealed in the vault.

here are my questions:

#1. would it be viable to sell these photographs, to one of those web-sites that buys pictures and videos of ex-girlfriends, for some quick cash and to simply get them off my own hands?

#2. do i have to pay royalties, a percentage or any other legal fee to the person in aforementioned pictures if they happen to be prowling the net for "diddle bits" and they see their own semi-nude body, for sale, in JPEG format?

i know: fucking random.

(that's just how i roll for the most part)

so, feel free to comment and i will be sure to lend you my least deaf ear.

enjoi that word junkies, enjoi.

Will Blackmail Your Ex's For Money,

Dax.

Ahh, Autumn: The Season of Brew-tality

wordius junki-us, welcome back to the slums of literacy.

this is the time of year that just "does it" for me.

(wow, i wasn't aware of the magnitude of your seasonal sexuality, but continue)

yes indeed, autumn is THAT season for me. the cooling air, the dying trees skeeting their dead leaves onto the streets and yards, pumpkin spice candles and latte's, the subtle reminder that christians can steal anything and trademark it to be "less heathenly". oh, the simple joys of autumn.

with all of that spiffy and delightful ridiculousness comes the bitter cold of winter just around the corner. it's a sick, sad twist to the whole fall thing, but fuck it: nothing is forever these days. also, there are several things i long for, or things that i think should happen, before the year comes to an end and the Mayans return: pissed off like a motherfucker and looking for vengence.

A Few Favorite, Random and Rude Things:

#1. i would like to see a giant s'more materialize, lure in heavy-set gluttons from all walks of life and make a final stand against all those ignorant bastards who know they have diabetes, yet refuse to be proactive because "there aren't any definate signs presenting themselves". the sugary goodness of fate, amputating your limbs, is another sign of the Apocolypse to come.

#2. a certain somone, without whom none of this would be nearly as funny, should be awoken by the lights of dawn peeking in past the mini-blinds only to discover the floors drenched in piss and blood. the amonia stench and crimson squishery of the carpets will prolong the secondary discovery of numerous, miniature decapitated jesus' clawing their way out of her uterus and climbing down her legs, all the while screaming out of their bleedy neck stumps:
"we represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild".

(a million lords a'screamin', a vag thats steady bleedin', 5! more heavy flow days!)

#3. a herd (yes, a herd) of barely legal, midget porn-stars: riding miniture clydesdales (2 bodies per pony) into a large church while proclaiming that they are INDEED the "Four Horsemen of The Apocolypse" and demand to see the most powerful wizard in OZ, (i.e.: Jesus), so that they can sit down and have Young Republican styled talks about the "outcome of souls now that there are BOTH a geo-political and economic crisis" currently wrecking the world....like a fat dick in a tight pussy.

#4. a 12 pack of "Sam Adams: Oktoberfest" in my possession ASAP.

(this one is more likely to happen than all the rest, so someone, make this happen)

#5. less halloween costumes made for children that are clearly geared toward adults. add to that, less costumes made for adults that are clearly made from the same amount of material that the childrens' costumes are made of.

(you're not supposed to taunt the rapists, it makes them MORE violent)

#6. the masses begin to understand the difference between "the belief in god" and "the belief in the belief in god". it makes sense if you're willing to understand the concept and come to grips with it. otherwise, you're going to continue to plague yourself with useless bullshit that:

has not

is not

and will not

come to fruition, no matter how fucking delusional you are. no amount of paxil, prozac or xanax will make your unicorn speckled, daydream dogma a reality.

that is my little list of "Yes, Please's!" that i psychoticly look forward to every year, around this time, in the wonderful land of Autumn. enjoi the evening word junkies.

Fall-ing For The Winter of Your Eyes,

Dax.

Friendships: How To Avoid Or Ruin Them

word junkies, my empty buddy-list.

my empty buddy-list, word junkies.

now that we've all met each other and exchanged less than enthusiastic glances, i can most certainly begin to word vomit into your gaping anus-like ear holes.

it takes a special kind of person to avoid and/or ruin friendships and the possiblities of such things to arise. it just so happens that my certificate of authenticity is currently being shipped to me via UPS-Ground. yes, i google'd it and applied for a "Friendship Avoidance Mastery" certificate.

(yes, google'd it. have your credentials ready)

to say i'm "thrilled" is a vast understatement.

yes indeed, it does take a special kind of person, or persons, to avoid friendship building. those same people also have the almost comic-book super-human ability to ruin their friendships for whatever reason they see fit. i'm not going to say i'm the GRAND MASTER, considering it's a five way tie between: Adolf Hitler, AIDS, Osama Bin Laden, Sarah Palin & Cancer.

"well, what kind of credentials do you think make you worthy of such a title as "Friendship Avoidance Master"? i ask you, faceless blogger of crude humor and offensive language, how worthy are you?"

oh, you polite little pussy fart, i'm so happy you asked such a loaded Young Republican styled question.

the things that make me worthy of such a title are varied and spread out over a long period of time. some of this was as a child but most of it i like to refer to as "High School...And Just After". i can name a few if you'd prefer.

"Friendship Avoidance Master" Credentials:

#1. i suffocated and absorbed my twin while in utero and stole all of his potential.
just like highlander, there can be only one.

#2. i fell out of a tree at age 10 and died. i pissed off everyone and everything on the other side and was "escorted" back into my still waiting, lifeless child body.

#3. lost my virginity to a wonderful young girl. after the whole awkward ordeal was over i told her:
"i really should've re-thought this whole 'choosing you' thing. too late now i guess."

#4. poked fun at, hazed, verbally abused, imasculated, defeminized and psychologically traumatized countless people just because i knew i could and that it would be fun for me.

...and to ME, the crowning moment.
(i caused this to happen, in public, behind a club in down-town RVA)

#5. used the tactics of "#4" to push a zen buddhist to the point where he, completely and honestly, wanted to resort to violence and physically "tee-off" with me.

yes my word junkies, new and old, i have earned all the scorn and disgust that comes along with my title and certificate. it took years of not giving enough of a fuck to impregnate a micro-organism. sure, i could've pasted on my smile to be genuinely nice, happy and down-right cheery, however, my smile better served me by being a facade, to lull people into a false sense of security, so that i could take them apart piece by piece.

sure, i have a few friends. thats the ideal part of it all. few friends.

the less people you have as friends the better. you will know these friends and how they are less likely to cave under some diluted sense of commradery. these are people you should want to have around when you end up on Intervention, the realest people who will spill it out to you and give zero ground because they REALLY ARE friends.

i have few friends because of a few good reasons:

#1. most people don't like blatant honest. the kind of honesty saved for children with a half melted face.

#2. generally, i have no problem turning your problems into YOUR problems. don't be an adult who cries for help on everything, all the time. you will regret it, i promise you that.

#3. most people get fed up and go off the deep end. that is super for me: i now know you're weak and i don't need that kind of friend. a strong friend will laugh in your face and walk away because they ahve better things to do, and you both know it.

#4. i hate clingy people who want to be around all the time. my friends don't do that because they know about "boundries" and "personal space". clingy people don't good friends for this reason.

so, there you have it.

a bunch of random slop about friendship and the "do's and don'ts".

after all, who else wants to be "that guy" who pushed a zen buddhist toward violence? it's a pretty heavy weight to carry around (yeah right) and no one else should have to know that kind of burden (bullshit).

enjoi your REAL friends

...and...

start alienating those who are NOT.

Friend Requesting Jack Schitt,

Dax.

Neuro-Gasm OR Mind Fuck...You Decide

word junkies, welcome home...kind of...fuck it, make yourself at home.

generally speaking, i am not a politically motivated person. politics are full of politicians and i hate politicians because TECHNICALLY hitler was one.

yes, i am the un-ending, non-advocate of: facism, tiny upper-lip wear, beige uniforms & nazi's. germany is spiffy, just not the times when it was seriously hurting for some jobs and thus mind fucked by an overly emotional, one-nutted, charismatic douche-bag with poor artistic sensibilities.

fuck nazi's, fuck facism, fuck politicians.

you're probably thinking:

"yes, thank you for joining everyone else with a healthy scalp on that issue, but where are you REALLY going with this little spewage?"

as i said, i am not a politically motivated person generally speaking, but i was watching a documentary about the death penalty and the views from both sides. i can say it eye-opening and irritating in so many motherfucking ways that i am glad i do not own a gun or guns.

let me play it out to you:

some people view the death penalty to be "inhumane" and "barbaric" in nature. these people are also, ALMOST ALWAYS, the good christian types that hold up signs that read "God Hates Fags" or "Gays Are A Disease". these are the people i love to hate. LOVE TO HATE i say! i truly think that there is a "base minimum of hate" that has to be in play, in the chess game of life, in order for things to progress forward. i truly think that without the "base minimum of hate" the world would become absolutely fucking boring and we would all "Jonestown it" that fuck out of here.

killing the world, with the jonestown kool-aid of stalemate, is high school geometry boring.

so, the "base minimum of hate" came out in this politcal debate over the "inhumane" and or "barbaric" use of the death penalty in america. it's a laughable notion to think, that if you got served with the death penalty, it is an "inhumane" sentence. i will explain it as a senario for you and ASK you, not DEMAND you, to form your own conclusion and opinion.

Senario:

a young girl, still able to recount the horrible attack, is raped and left for dead. she manages, BY HER OWN GRACES AND WILL, to get help and is rushed to the emergency room where she gives her statement and is given care.

the rapist is caught and arrested for his crime. the attacker is tried, found guilty and sentenced...but not to death. the young girl is only relieved that he can't do it to anyone else. that is her ONLY justice.

the young girl...

goes through years of therapy

has to take medication daily for anxiety

is tested every six months for long term sexual diseases

goes into rehabilitation for abuse of medication as well as other drugs and alcohol

finally recovers

gets a steady job and works to supress the past

she pays her taxes which then supports the rapist who is in prison for life

well, do you get it?

do you see what "inhumane" is yet?

even after the physical, emotional and psychological trauma that this girl endures into her adulthood, she is still stuck giving more to her attacker than everyone originally thought:

mind, body, psyche, monetary.

now, the people who are against the death penalty are going on some "you can't play God" trip and stating that it "isn't society's place" to take the life of another person, no matter what they did as a crime. really, really?! to rape someone and leave them for dead is taking a life in a more serious way. they have to LIVE WITH IT until they die...eventually. until they take their last breath it will HAUNT them in their days and nights; dreams and nightmares. the life taken wasn't physical but metaphysical, the plane FAITH is SUPPOSED to exist on.

even people who got the death penalty know what justice REALLY is. hell, the rapist and pedophiles get their own "special yard" to play in, due to the fact that even the worst murderers have children...and they have people put down anywhere - anytime.

especially the pedo's...they get the worst treatment...and rightfully so.

my view on the death penalty is this:

if the death penalty is offered as a form of punishment for a guilty party, by the judge or jury, bypass the bullshit and put a fucking $0.07 round in their head.

save me and the victims of their crimes some tax dollars.

it takes months, years, DECADES for someone on death row to actually GET DEATH. that is time wasted and tax dollars sucked up by criminals who can't even give a little something back to the society and people they have runined. at least the crack dealers on the street are able to actively stimulate the economy by buying baking soda and vodka, which is used to boost value of the product they are selling. this then affords them MORE money than the average drug dealer to spend on goods that fuel the economy, like baking soda and vodka. it is a cycle i can go with.

the people in prisons, WAITING IT OUT, after a death penalty is handed down are why people want the motherfuck out of a swift death penalty and protest against "life behind bars".

the life long prison fucks get:

three meals a day

a central air concrete condo

a security system

a maintained exercise yard that borders on obscene

they don't pay for all that shit while they wait for the death penalty, or do life, because it was too "barbaric" to take a CRIMINAL'S life.

so again, your thoughts are your own and i really don't need (or fucking want) your side of things. i just wanted to put it into an outside view for all of those people who associate the death penalty with "middle-manning the almighty lord" in his conquest for souls (which those should be insta-hellbound) and the better choices of mankind.

oh, did anyone else know that people didn't think twice about a death penalty in the bible?

a "stoning" isn't a bunch of disciples smoking pot while jesus is in charge of flint-ing the bong.

it's a death penalty: involving no needles, chemicals or electricity but hurts like a motherfucker, considering a crowd of people is killing you slowly over minutes/hours by pelting you with various sized rocks until your skull breaks or you bleed out.

that is "barbaric" but i can respect that because it shows criminals that some people take doing the right thing seriously, and if you don't, you're going to pay the fucking price.

hope you word junkies out there enjoi'd that semi-political mass of "what the fuck brought that up?"

Deliberating On Your Sentence...With Pie,

Dax.

From Hiatus To Hilarious: Ultimate Blu-Ray Redux Edition

hello again word junkies.

yes, i know i asked for your readership and then fucked off for almost a full month. yes, i should be pouring out a great apology and such...but i won't...shit happens, especially in pants.

okay then.

for the past month i've been lazily procrastinating about and doing things other than blogging and whatnot.

obviousness made clear, i know.

in those days i did manage to do some cleaning up about the dwelling and found a treasure trove of crazy shit, the kind of stuff that made my jaw drop and cause me to exclaim, "holy fuck biscuits, i totally forgot about this!!" in this pirate-esque, sunken treasure chest of goodies were several thigns that got my writing sense about about me as well as filled my blackened heart with joy. some of the goodies include:

the Misfits box-set

(4 Cd's of horro-punk goodness, complete with 2 pins: Fiend Club & Lime Green Logo)

the Cannibal Corpse: 15 Year Killing Spree box-set

(also, 4 Cd's of death metal goodness, complete with "Unleashing The Bloodthirsty" comic book)

a Slipknot notebook, given to me by a high school friend (Tabitha) with a bright green note card taped to the inside that told me the notebook in question was to keep me grounded while letting my writing voice explore the world.

...and the most fucked up, yet pleasingly funny goodie...

a Journeys bag full of high school love notes and letters

(i don't even think i need an explanation for this one...a grab bag of "what the fuck?!")

so, i'm going to be outlining some the "Best Of..." letters and people wrote these delightful pieces of high school literary bliss. first, let me kind of explain a little of what may have made these letters and notes possible.

it is still unclear to me why i attracted, for the most part, high-school damaged goods. yes, i said it, damaged goods. i mean that in the best possible way, truly the nicest way. i know that a vast majority of the girls/women in american have daddy issues, but did i have to be the magnet for them 98% of the time?! i mean, seriously, what made me the "self-doubting, over-active vaginal opening, daddy issue chick" magnet?


in those days i was much nicer than i am now, as now i am about as nice as flesh eating bacteria. sure, i smiled a lot and joked with almost everyone. yes, i had a chipper demeanor and the ability to cheerfully light up a room with positive randomness and witty commentary. taking all of that into account, was it really enough to be the driving force behind my high school lust/love affairs being centered around the same girls, who grew up into women, that invest more into psychological pharmaceuticals than our entire nation invests into the "No Child Left Behind" initiative?


was my being "nice", "adorable", "funny" and "a sweetheart" enough of a reason why every nutjob with a vagina wanted to be my "girlfriend" or "hook-up" with me?


ah yes, now you can see why i am now the resident asshole on duty: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


now, let me outline a few of these "love seekers" and some of their written commentary.


Megan:

this one in particular, after investigating her notes, was destined to be pushed away by me for a very obvious reason: she talked too much about sex.

(wait, hold on: did a guy just say a female talked too much about sex?! come again sir?)

yes indeed. i'm all for having a full fledge relationship and involving sex in that relationship but i can't stand when the sex talking starts not even a full month after the dating process starts. call me crazy if you must, but it's not the first thign that comes to mind...my overall sanity and the length of the relationship are the top topics for me. sure, she was a delightful and bubbly young lady with a great smile, sparkling eyes and a nice rack. she was also an artist and intelligent as well. she had everything going for her until every not she passed me was dripping with vaginal urgency. here are some IN CONTEXT quotes from her letters:


December 4th
"God, I don't want you to think I'm a hornball or anything, but I'm so very, very, very, very sexually frustrated right now. I take it you can sense that. It's very obvious. So in the mornings from now on, we must do something. I can't take it anymore. We're gonna hafta ditch Matt just one time so i can impregnate you."
"I need some action so bad. I hope you have enough will power to go w/o ass for awhile. I made myself a moral promise to wait w/ you. I just hope I have enough will power. I'm at such a vulnerable state, so be good!"

December 5th
"I'm sittin' here in study hall talkin' to Petra a/b good fuckin' places around here. I'm not worried a/b sex so much, but I would like to fool around w/ you. I need something to release all this tension I have built up in my loins. I'll die if you don't do something to me. You wouldn't believe my fantasies I have before i go to sleep. I'm probably not gonna shuttup a/b this 'til you gimme some."

Date Unknown
"I haven't had sex in 8 months! I'd creme my pants if someone touched me! My insides are screamin' for dick! In other words, I need a screw."


for only 3 notes, thats a whole lot of talking about sex. i hate hearing the same song more than once an hour. so to hear about the same topic over and over and over it's like being repeatedly subjected to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" every 10 minutes. irritation at its finest.



Wynn:

she was genuinely a sweet girl. her smile was big and her eyes lit up like fireworks. her personality was great, a little twisted and super hyper, which was awesome to me. sure, she was frisky, but it became more clear how frisky she was the longer i knew her and the more notes i got from her. she had the same problem with talking about sex like it was meth. also, she was overly spewing compliments which always alerts me to danger. trying too hard, to me, is like changing your name to Timothy McVeigh.

(Danger Will Robinson, Danger!)

i wasn't slinging dick like Spider-Man, so i don't understand why it was like this with two different girls from high school. it must have been because i ran into her at the state fair one year and rode a mechanical bull while she watched. so sexy, right? i didn't think so, but she did. from that weekend on she nick-named me "Cowboy". she was a sweet girl but i wasn't about to try and fulfill her sweet-tooth, and thus, i also pushed her away.

October 15th
"Guess what babe? I want your body and why r u so sexy? U don't think you are but u really r. So stop saying your not."

October 16th
"I am soooo mad at u I want u sooo bad and thats not kewl."
"Guess what? I'm going to hurt u when I get my hands on u!"
"Man I'm going to fuck the hell out of you and thats the truth."

October 17th
"I'm going 2 hurt u n a good way."

October 19th
"I want 2 have sex with u really bad, I don't know why I just do."


that was 5 notes in 4 days and each one had some expressed urge to get into my pants. thats too much, just too damn much talk about something all in the same one week period. again, it was overkill and annoying. so sue me, i don't need to hear about it constantly.


the beauty part about this next set is who they come from. if you keep up with this blog, or you know me personally, then you know who "She Who Shall Not Be Named" really is.

"Cross Sectional Sofa" ringing a bell? anyone?

how about "the gay joke psycho bitch"?

there you go!


well, for the sake of least confusion, i'm going to name her "Lawrie" and here is her set.


Lawrie:

she had a big heart and a beaming smile, a personality that was excited and cheery. she was a thesbian and her passions included: movies, music, positive conversation and day-dreaming. the thing that bored me, and eventually woke me up about her, was her sense of reality fading into some alternate universe where she lived in a sit-com or a romantic comedy. i'm not sure, even to this day, if she was ever completely there. it was delightfully refreshing at first to see those child like expressions and to hear her speak like the world was a Wonderland, that is until i realized that she thought her delusions were indeed the reality the rest of us knew. she also was entirely too dramatic, even for an aspiring actress, not to mention, couldn't trust her own instincts or take a joke.

sad, but oh so true.


November 26th
"I think I'm dying!! *looks all pitiful* Everything is spinning and stuff."

January 30th
"So, I had some more ideas which I'm sure you caught on to. To & From school is always an option and I can always drop you off at the bus stop."
"I need some pictures of us together. I have pics of you & I individually *falls asleep* dreams about white sheets & blood & candle-light."

(i never gave her pictures of me...so how the fuck did that last part even come about?!)

Date Unknown

"Last time I saw you, we were just split in two.
You were looking at me, I was looking at you
You were strangely familiar but I could not recognize
You had blood on your face, I had blood in my eyes
But the pain in your heart was the pain down in mine
We called it love
That's the origin of love"
"Isn't that the sweetest thing you ever heard?"


as you can see, between being overly exposed to yapping about vaginal urges and some creepy spaced out hopeless romantic, i've had my fair share of "WTF?!?!" instances. it was fun to read them and see the crazy shit that should've dawned on me long, long ago.

i am a happier, more sinister, less heart-felt, perpetual asshole because of it all. i hope you enjoi'd all of those weird quotations from the "Ghosts Of Ex-Love Notes Passed".




Omg'ing Over Your High School Handwriting,



Dax. I. Rose